You get your miracle then....

BAM it gets taken away.

I knew something was either wrong or going great these last few weeks. I had my IUI on March 26th. 2 days after my IUI I started cramping in my abdomen and getting pressure. I never had this with my first one so I knew something wasn't right. I went in for my beta blood test on Saturday April 7th and then went about my day. Like any other time I was waiting on that phone call and expecting to hear "sorry your test was negative". But I got that phone call earlier than I ever have before and the lady on the other line said "it was positive". I asked her to repeat herself. I have never heard a positive before. But let me take you back to first thing that morning. I have an obsession with peeing on a stick and I peed on one earlier that day and it was negative so that was kind of weird that she told me it was positive. Then hear comes the bad news. She said my beta number was low so they wanted me to come back on Monday for another beta. She said my number was 10. Between 0 and 5 is negative, between 5 and 10 is maybe, maybe not pregnant and anything over 25 is definitely pregnant. So I took it easy over the weekend and went back on Monday. This time my number only jumped to 11. I just had a gut feeling something wasn't right but yet I was still getting symptoms. Stomach was cramping, getting pressure in lower belly and had a pulling sensation next to belly button. So I went again on Wednesday and waited, waited, waited for that phone call. I had high hopes and was expecting to hear my number skyrocketed. But all good things must come to an end...my number dropped to 5.7....ugh, are you kidding me? They want me to come back on Saturday as the doctor wants it under 5 to make sure it's definitely negative but I told myself why go back to hear that dreaded "it's negative" again. Then I wake up this morning and guess what, my period started! Go figure!

Thankfully I have an appt at my doctor's office today to go over my injection training since this month I will be giving myself injections along with all the other medication I have to take. I will now be on clomid 100mg cd 3-7, gonal f cd 8-12 then give myself ovidrel trigger shot 36 hours before IUI then we do IUI.

I told Kevin at least we know we can pregnant but something happened and it just didn't take. In technical terms they call this a chemical pregnancy, which is a step below a miscarry. We just both feel like God gave us what we wanted then at the last minute took it away from us. He knows how bad we want this. I am feeling pretty positive about this next cycle though. If it worked last month I know it will work this month and it will stick around.

So here's to a new month of meds and ultrasounds and maxing out our credit cards to pay for everything!