2ww

As most of you know that are trying to conceive know the pressure and torture of the 2 week wait. The time after ovulation until your period. And most of you know that it's so much torture, getting all the fantasy symptoms of being pregnant until the 2 weeks is up and you get your period. That's the most depressing time ever. But then you realize hey its just not my month and you go through that process all over again.

I am officially in my 2ww and its horrible. I've been getting all the symptoms and of course I know its just my body screwing with me. I've been always quick to hope for the best and then get crushed at the end so this time I'm just going to keep thinking negative that way I don't get that heartbroken if the test is negative. I'm sick of getting crushed and my heart broken. I hope this is my month but I don't know what will happen.

Monday Test Results

Went for my progesterone test results and nurse called Monday afternoon to tell me my test results were normal so that's good :) Their lab only goes up to 20 and they said it came back higher than 20...I'm so excited. Today is Tuesday so I have exactly one week to go before I find out if I'm preggo or not...I'm so excited but nervous at the same time. We are prepared to do this again if the first time doesn't work but we have high hopes and hope it works the first time.

Family Pictures 2011

We had family pictures taken again this year, last time we had them done was in 2009. Being a photographer I know how important it is to have family pictures taken every year and I vow to have them done every year. I like to have pictures for my kids to look at 50 years from now. My ever so talented sister in law took these for us and I am so happy. They are already hanging around my house :) 

Test Results

I went in to see my fertility specialist on Thursday to get all my test results and she said everything looks great. The only problem is there's a problem with my thyroid and I have to take medication to get it under control. Normal thyroid is 4.5 and to get pregnant it has to be under 3.0 and of course mine is at 3.5 so taking meds is the right choice. I go back in for blood work in 3 weeks to see if the meds work or not. I go back in on Monday to check my progesterone to make sure I ovulated and there's enough progesterone to carry a pregnancy. I will update on Monday once I get my blood work done.

I love letting everyone know my progress. If you have specific questions that you want to ask me feel free to email me at ericayoung01@yahoo.com :)

A whole new blog and a whole new me....

I have many philosophys about life and I try to follow every single one of them.
I do say "life is to short, live like there's no tomorrow."
So since I have turned 30 last month I realize I'm not getting any younger.
I've been trying to get pregnant since I was pretty much 19 when I got married to my husband but really been trying for the past 7 years. I've had a few hiccups as well as my husband but nothing that we can't handle.
So 2 days after I turned 30 I saw my doctor and told him he needs to refer me to a fertility specialist.
I made an appt and got in a couple of weeks later.
My insurance covers only 1 IUI per lifetime but of course it ended at the end of 2011 so my fertility specialist decided we should do it while the insurance covers it.
I went in last week and got bloodwork done to check my thyroid and several other things.
I then went on clomid for 5 days and then on Monday I went and got an ultrasound done to check my follicles. They said I had 3 follicles measuring 16, 17 and 19 (normal is 18). They also said since I have 3 follicles that gives me a chance to conceive multiples...ahhhh! So it was time for my IUI. I went home that night and shot myself with Ovidrel. I'm really afraid of needles and was going to have my hubby do it but I took control and did it myself. It hurt for a second but otherwise it was ok.
So today Wednesday December 14th I went in for my first IUI and it went great.
I am now laying on my couch trying not to move and going to take it easy for the next 2 weeks.
I am excited but nervous and like anyone else has doubts but trying to stay positive and know this will work. There's a 25% chance the first IUI works but I have high hopes and know it will stick.

I am hear to document my experience with infertility and hope it helps someone else out there. I also want to look back on this to show my kids someday what I went through to get pregnant with them.

I also finished school last week, I got a B in my algebra class and an A in my management supervision class, so yay to me. I also got on the Dean's List again. Its nice to know when you pay for school you try your best to achieve.

I will update soon :)

Countdown to my birthday...

There are 38 days until my 30th birthday...
you would think one that is turning 30 would be happy
well everyone but me
I'm happy I'm turning a year older but kind of having a mid life crisis
going through my life trying to figure out what I should have accomplished by now
Gone to college, have kids, be married, have a successful career
I am happily married, I'm going to college now and were trying to have kids.
I'm attending college to have a successful career so I can' say my life isn't all that bad
I own my house, drive a nice car, own a motorcycle and have food in my fridge oh and a husband who is deeply, madly in love with me as I am with him
so I guess there isn't much to complain about
So back to my 30th birthday...
If you've been reading my blog over the years you would know that I love celebrating birthdays
whether my own or my husbands
And usually I have planned out months in advance what we are doing to celebrate but this year I'm slacking
I've had the last 3 months off of school and enjoying every single moment of it
I go back next week and between school, work, taking care of the house and my photography business I won't have time to plan anything
But I'm sure I'll come up with something

Happy First day of Fall...my favorite season!

Trying to Understand...

Trying to understand why things work the way they do...
Their are people out there who have kids and don't take care of them
People who don't want kids and get pregnant
And there's people like me who really, really want kids and can't get pregnant
We've been actively trying for almost 6 years now and nothing
I had problems, got them fixed then recently found out hubby has problems and just last month got them fixed
Doctor said 2/3 of his patients that had this surgery end up getting pregnant
Reading forums and discussions online people have said they have gotten pregnant 2-3 mths after their spouse had this surgery
Well its just been 1 mth and like any other woman who is actively trying to get pregnant and nothing has happened yet needless to say I am devastated
I know its only been a month but I was hoping it was my month
Hubby just tells me we will keep trying and don't give up
I don't want to give up but its so hard to keep seeing that negative sign on the test
But its now a new month and I need to keep my head high and pray that everything will be ok and one day I will finally become a mother

Summer Break....

Wow, I've been MIA since March 30th.
A lot has been going on in my life.
I finished my second semester at school and received an A and a B+ and made the Dean's List again. My GPA is 3.67, I couldn't be prouder of myself.
I am now on summer break and man did I need it. I was getting burned out.

Kevin and I have decided to try to become foster parents. The state of Michigan has a ton of foster kids and we decided since we are having problems getting pregnant why not help the kids out there that need it.
We want to provide a loving home to them and love them as they should be loved. Its not their fault their parents gave up on them or have problems of their own and can't take care of them.
We turned in our application last night and now we wait 4-6 wks to get approved by the state. In the meantime we have to attend 2-8 hr classes of training and get finger printed and background checks and lots and lots of paperwork. I am so excited about this next chapter in our lives.

Next week Kevin has surgery and praying this fixes our problems on trying to get pregnant. The doctor said 2/3 of his patients that has this surgery it fixes it and they get pregnant. So please send prayers our way.

I am off for a few days next week so Kevin and I are going camping by ourselves for 4 days. We really need this time away just the 2 of us. Especially if we are planning on bringing a child into the house this might be the last time we get away by ourselves.

This summer I plan on slowing down on my photography business to spend more time with Kevin. Last summer I was so busy I never got time to spend with him. I want to do as much as we can as money and time allows. I start school up at the end of September so I have 2 more months of freedom before I get jammed back up in homework and papers.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy Summer!

Ahhhhhh......

I can't believe how long its been since I last posted but man oh man has my life been busy.

I don't even know where I left off and don't feel like saving this post and going back to look haha.

So I will just start from here.....

I am done with my first semester of school and drum roll please......

I am on the Dean's List :) YAY!!!!! I got an A in my one class and an A- in my other class! I am so relieved and so ecstatic.

I am supposed to start next semester next week but I will have my feet in the sand and margaritas in my hand in Myrtle Beach :) I am so looking forward to a vacation with my family. We actually surprised Kevin for his 30th birthday which was yesterday, but we told him 2 weeks ago and he was speechless when we told him. But so excited we are going. There will be 6 adults and 5 kids going. We leave this Saturday morning and won't return until the following weekend. I'm kind of disappointed that I will be missing my first week of school but I'll get over it.

My diet isn't going that great. I've tried to exercise, eat right and nothing is working. I even signed back up at my gym and was going everyday until my great grandma passed away last week and I got consumed with everything funeral related and haven't been back. I will go back when I return from vacation. I'm not giving up.

As I said above my great grandma 84 years young passed away suddenly last week and the whole family is devastated. We knew with her age it was coming but we had no idea it was coming up this quick. She will always be in our hearts and will never be forgotten!

This picture was taken Christmas 2009 I think.

Okay I'm off to go and pack and get ready for my trip! Have a great week and see you all when I get back :)

Breakdowns

I have been in my own lil world lately
I have been busy with school and work then coming home and cooking dinner, cleaning up, laundry, getting my lunch ready for the next day, I'm working out on a daily basis....whew...
I never get a break...rarely.
Hubby is going on his 3rd week off of work and unemployment is of no help. They've been screwing us around left and right, so needless to say we've been living off my income and that...not so fun.

I have been on my diet 8 weeks and have lost 11 lbs :) yay me. I just started measuring so not sure about my measurements but I've lost a ton. I hate posting pictures of myself but I just wanted to show my accomplishments so far and I'm really proud of myself.

I've been watching what I've been eating...no fast food, no soda, no junk food (well every once in a while) my #1 issue is I don't deprive myself of my favorite things. If I want something that bad I will have a bite and give the rest to hubby and I'm good. I still have a long way to go...30 lbs to be exact but I'm finally on the right track. 

I will be done with my first semester in 4 weeks, I get 2 weeks off then back at it again for another 10 weeks. Thus far I am getting a B+ in both my math and english class. And I hope to keep it the same or raise them by the end of the semester.

I will be going to my doctor this week to hopefully get this process moving to help me conceive. This past week I found out two old friends of mine are both pregnant. One is married and the other single. I am so happy for them but so heartbroken and upset. I literally know of 6 ppl having babies this year and its disappointing. I am such an emotional wreck as it is and hearing that news didn't help any. My heart hurts very much and it feels like I have no one to turn to.

I have an hour to do homework and my week is so busy this week so off to homework land I go and have a great week friends :)

Lost in this world called Life...

School-

Busy is a word used by me several, several times lately
I haven't blogged much because I barely have time to myself lately
I started school...I'm in my 3rd week going into my 4th week
I'm taking 2 classes a week and they are 4 hrs each class...ugh :(
Classes are 10 wks long and even though they just started, I'm ready for them to be over
I decided that I needed a jump start for my career so going back to school and getting my associates was the best decision I ever made
Once I'm done with my associates degree which should take no longer than 3 yrs max I'm moving onto my bachelors
Its kinda scary of me back in school but since I've been back my brain is loving all this new stuff I'm learning
Your brain really needs stimulation and my brain really loves being challenged.
Even at work I feel I do my best when I'm challenged and somewhat under pressure
And I'm glad I'm writing about this so in a few years when I'm done with school I can look back and read how I felt when I first went back to school.
I might think differently then :)

My Lifestyle Change-

I've been on my "diet" I mean lifestyle change for 33 days and have lost 10 lbs already
I am so proud of myself
I started counting my calories and what I put into my mouth
Everyone is responsible for their own actions and I was the first to blame my eating habits on other people
I got this way on my own and I need to be the first one to fix it
So after changing my eating habits and counting calories I say I'm doing great
I haven't even worked out either...again busy, busy and no time to work out
I'm doing it the healthy way and before I know it I will be at my goal weight and I will know exactly what to do to keep my weight at that healthy weight
Also, if I want something that badly I just take 1 bite and give the rest to hubby and that satisfys my temptation, its so great

I am off to do homework...have a great weekend :)

Reality has set in...

I have said this before and I'm going to say it again...people really treat you differently when you don't have kids. And most of the time...unfortunately its family.

I am not a private person...I do say some things especially on Facebook that I should keep to myself but I don't. I like to share what I'm going through with other people who are going through the same thing as I. I posted something on facebook one night and woke up the next morning to 3 emails from people I went to high school with that are going through the same thing as I and had no fear in sharing their story. I explained my story and all the up to date information. I want people to learn from me and maybe we can share our stories and who knows maybe bring us closer together.

I am not only going through not being able to conceive but I'm also struggling with my weight. I have always been a skinny kid growing up, always outside playing. My parents never allowed us to stay inside and watch tv, which was a good thing. I also grew up for a few years out in the country so I had to walk everywhere or ride my bike. I was fine up until I was a senior in high school and had a car and got a sit down job at a desk. Then I got married at 19 and it went downhill from there. I lost 60 lbs 2 years ago but it slowly creeped back on. Not sure why I didn't catch it earlier but I didn't. So fast forward to current day and I am back on Weight Watchers and started last week and weighed in on Monday and lost 4 lbs...YAY!! I have 50 lbs to lose in 5 mths. I am not only eating better but exercising on a daily schedule.

2010...

2010 was a good year. It wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst.
I have a feeling 2011 will be a good year for Kevin and I.
Christmas Eve we had family over at my house and had a good time. Watched my niece and nephews open presents. Then Christmas Day we spent at Kevin's sisters house and watched all of my nieces and nephews open their gifts. It was a good time. Reminded me of the time we lived with them almost 5 yrs ago and watched the kids christmas morning. We had some good times.
New Years Eve was eventful. Started out good but didn't end so well. I hope that isn't how the rest of the year is going to be...

I started my diet a week ago and have been doing very well. I am walking on the treadmill 5 days a week starting out at 20 mins and working my way up 5-10 mins each week. I don't want to get bored so I'm trying to mix it up. I am starting out with mini goals monthly and hope to be at my goal weight by May. My first mini goal is to lose 10 lbs by Feb. 1st.

Happy New Year!!